We can all feel that we’ve lost our way at times. I had felt like this for the last few months. And not in the same way as when we were travelling – we often got lost and that was part of the adventure! There was no excitement here. A drudge.
I could justify this feeling, my lack of focus: we moved back from Stockport and prepared our Bristol home to sell; we’ve spent time with family; housesitting; we’ve both been ill. Yet I knew I was making excuses. I was making no time for Glows, apart from when I was coaching – which I love. Instead, I was living a life as if I was semi-retired. Each time I thought about my business, there was a blank.
What? I want to have at least another 24 years of coaching clients.
I am sure I am no exception to losing my way. And I find it fascinating how we react to the feeling we’ve lost our way. Some may feel anxious or spiral into a state of depression; some get swamped by stress and lose sight of what is important in their lives. For me, I was burying my head in the proverbial sand. It was not pleasant. I mean, who likes all those tiny fragments of sand in our orifices?
Enough was enough. I brought the issue to my coaching session in a roundabout way. My coach, Michael, asked me beforehand, “What is most important to you at this moment to bring to our coaching session”. My first response was, “What IS important to me?”. Our coaching session was delayed for a few days, so my subsequent answer was, “I’d like to focus on consistency. I seem to be consistently inconsistent”.
We explored what was important to me in the context of Glows. The words flowed off my tongue effortlessly; I even surprised myself with the clarity and passion:
There is nothing more exhilarating than enabling and seeing clients living joyful lives, settled within themselves and rediscovering who they truly are.
I know full well that when we are stressed, overthinking, anxious or lost, life can feel so hard. Our confidence and self-esteem can feel crushed when we listen to and believe our critical self-talk. Or our energy and vitality of life are zapped when we hold onto certain emotions. I also know that we don’t need to live this way, and when we give ourselves space to explore, we can rediscover a much better way of living and being our wonderful selves.
“In a dark time, the eye begins to see.” — Theodore Roethke
Now, I wouldn’t describe my time as “dark”, however, whenever there are moments in our lives that are not great, It’s worth giving ourselves some space. By listening, seeing and allowing ourselves to understand our personal truth, we will start to see who we want to be, find peace within ourselves and step into that person.
Back to my coaching session, Michael asked how I wanted to be. Notice here – he didn’t ask what I wanted to do. Writing a to-do list won’t instil a shift.
I could see myself clothed in one of my nice outfits rather than my jeans, sitting in my office, with dedicated time working. I have a sense of lightness and ease and, of course, fun. I am thinking of clients and how I can provide the best service to them.
This was a huge contrast to how I have been in recent months – meandering, spending too much time being unproductive doing unimportant things. This won’t fulfil my contribution to this world.
I was at a pivotal point. I was totally clear on what I didn’t want, and this space with my coach enabled me to see what I did want. I drew a peak on the paper in front of me and an arrow to the top and wrote “pivot – sweet spot”. Interestingly, not a phrase I would usually use. Yet, I sensed a change in me.
So here I am, showing up at my desk, working and loving it. It feels great to be back. And my learnings?
Hi, I am Lindsey Reed. I love connecting with people and enabling them to remember who they really are, their true selves. And if you’ve had enough of stress, anxiety and feeling out of sorts, then let’s have a conversation. Coaching is online, the wonders of technology.
If you would like to connect with me, pop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to hearing from you.
My book Got It: The Answer to a Confident, Productive & Stress-Free Life is available from Amazon and Bookstores and has now been read in over 30 countries. It describes what Confidence really means and how to rediscover this in yourself.