A few weeks earlier, we’d purchased a new sofa for our first home. When the delivery guys arrived, they insisted that the sofa would not get up the stairs of our flat. Ten minutes later, they hoisted it up through a window…but in the wrong room.
Here we were, attempting to move the sofa ourselves. We got it through the first doorway, shuffled it round the hallway and then…mmm… it was feeling stuck…we shoved and pushed…we heaved and tugged but the sofa would just not get through that doorway.
After getting thoroughly hot, sweaty and frustrated Tim suggested we stopped and, in typical English style, had a cup of tea, dunking our biscuits and gradually calmed down. Once we were refreshed, we had another go. One small nudge and hey presto the sofa easily moved into the room. How did that happen? We couldn’t believe it!
I shared this story to a client who was feeling stuck in areas of her life. The coaching session gave her breathing space allowing her to have insights. We explored what was happening to her….it wasn’t about past events – it was how she was thinking about the issues – in fact, it was that she was thinking. And her thinking affected how she was feeling.
“Going back into the past is like going back into the shower to dry off.” Sydney Banks
Once the client realised the mechanics of her thinking, the tension and stress on her face melted away and she looked 10 years younger. It was beautiful… And she also had a nice cup of tea…*
We can all get stuck from time to time. In fact I was feeling very stuck as to how to write this blog. What a paradox! So I let go of thinking about writing, had some lunch and now it is just flowing…
When we are feeling stuck – this may be about a problem at work, issues at home, in a relationship, and also feeling emotionally stuck – the impact is that this feeling stuck seeps into other areas of our life and can affect our confidence. It’s like we dig ourselves deeper and deeper into the mire of despair…
However, when working with clients and myself for that matter, it’s about realising that the stuck-ness is just an illusion. Understanding the mechanics of our thinking and that we create this feeling stuck ourselves; that’s when the magic happens and we can free ourselves from this torment. As Albert Einstein said:
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
*And here are the client’s words after our session:
“I was feeling stuck and that something was holding me back making progress on a new project I was working on, but didn’t know what it was or what to do about it. I was becoming pretty negative about the project and just didn’t think it would work and as a result, my confidence was waning. I took the plunge, called Lindsey and arranged a date to meet. I told her I thought I would need a few sessions – she said Ok, however, let’s see how you are after one session.
I thought Lindsey would need some advance background on me – but no – not needed! We met and I instantly felt at ease and relaxed. Lindsey recognised the issue immediately and how it was holding me back. After talking it through, and her suggesting an action, that was it – problem solved! My mind and confidence have been much clearer since that first meeting and people have noticed and told me so! My confidence has returned and I can’t thank Lindsey enough for helping me to get back to me. I highly recommend coaching with Lindsey. If anyone suggests you meet Lindsey – take action. It will be the best use of your time and you will feel so much better and happier after it.” SI ~Northants
Lindsey Reed is an experienced international coach and trainer who enables people to get unstuck, transform their lives and be their best selves. If you would like to work with Lindsey, contact her either by email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 01832 280168 for a chat to see if she is the right coach for you.