Change your Reality

Change your “reality” to build your Confidence

 

This may seem like a strange admission from someone whose job it is to enable individuals’ to develop their confidence, but here goes:

I don’t feel confident all of the time!

The majority of time I do, however there are those moments when I stretch out of my comfort zone that I don’t feel confident. The thing is – I feel comfortable feeling uncomfortable! (It hasn’t always be that way)

There are often myths and misconceptions when it comes to confidence. One of these is the assumption that confident individuals feel confident all of the time. They don’t.

For example, I remember seeing Sir Richard Branson at a Conference where he admitted that he felt nervous talking to several thousands of people. So, even hugely successful billionaires can feel nerves when venturing outside of their comfort zones. It’s perfectly natural; and, just because you occasionally feel uncomfortable, doesn’t mean you lack overall confidence.

Have Trust

Having inner confidence is about trusting yourself. If things go wrong – which occasionally they do – it doesn’t matter. We can all fail at things; it doesn’t mean we are failures; as long as we learn from these experiences. In fact if you never fail then you are living within your comfort zone and not stretching yourself or growing.

The issue is when you don’t feel confident and it greatly affects you. Does lack of confidence make you feel stressed? Do you continuously criticise yourself? Do you experience a nagging self-doubt and find it difficult making decisions? This is exactly how I used to feel – and it wasn’t nice.

So how do we get to the stage where we have that true inner self-confidence which allows us to cope with challenging situations?

Firstly we need to understand how we work.

I like to think that our brains are the most powerful computers in the world; (it’s a shame that we don’t seem to have the instruction manual!)

Our brain is programmed primarily through our sensory representational systems – what we see, hear, touch, smell and taste – and through this we make sense and respond of the world. It may seem like reality – however we only know our own perceptions of reality (No wonder people often misconstrued situations and conversations!). This map of reality determines what we believe, how we think and behave.

It’s generally not “reality” that limits or empowers us, but rather our map of reality.

Imagine if you could re-programme your map of reality – you would then be able to change your beliefs, your thoughts and your perceptions.

So back to the analogy of the computer – It’s a bit like the computer programmer; if the output is incorrect, a programmer will search through the code to find what needs changing. Once it is changed, the output will be improved.

In a way, I often work with my clients their “computer programmer”. By transforming their perceived map of reality this is how my clients successfully change any unhelpful beliefs or thoughts and then develop their confidence level.

You can also re-programme yourself. It may be uncomfortable – however you to can also feel comfortable being uncomfortable by taking steps towards your Confident future.

Sound interesting? The Confidence Home Study Programme will show you how you can change your map of the world and develop your confidence in the comfort of your own home.

Lindsey Reed is an experienced Coach who specialises in boosting the confidence of professionals. Email Lindsey@glows-coaching.co.uk or call 01832 280168 to see how she can improve your confidence in your working life..