Recently I have had a number of clients share with me their own words of wisdom that they often tell others, offering them some learning. What I noticed was a similarity with these clients. The kind of things that they said are:
Now you may be thinking, hang on a minute Lindsey, what is the similarity with those statements? The similarity is that the words of wisdom these wonderful people were saying to others, they needed to hear for themselves. They needed to hold up the mirror and really listen to their own lesson. It was so interesting to hear them, and realise that they already had the solution to the problem that they came to me with. It was lovely to see their faces and hear their voices when they realised this.
Habitually, we hear these words of wisdom and just say “yer, yer, yer, I know” a kind of flippant statement, brushing the words away. But we don’t really know. It is like having some facts without the understanding. And to have a transformation we have to really listen. Listen from a quiet mind, be open to our own learning rather than think we already know. We need a shift in our thinking and see something new. So often we believe that the answer is to analyse, or be in our problems and think that we’ll suddenly see the solution. All that leads to is more and more thinking which can turn into a whirlwind of our own thought-storms.
I love Einstein’s quotes – he seemed to understand how we experience life – such an amazing man with many words of wisdom. One of his well-known quotes is:
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Like my clients I am also guilty of not listening to myself. In fact I remember a brilliant master coach Gene Early giving me some very uncomfortable feedback highlighting that I would often dismiss words of wisdom like beheading others. He has an amazing way of getting to the crux of an issue no matter how excruciatingly awkward the situation (it was very!) as he totally trusted the person had the resources to thrive.
Let me give you an example. I used to say to people, ‘What’s in the middle of beliefs? LIE – they are not true – You have confidence within you’. What have I been doing for the last eight years? Running confidence workshops. I was definitely sharing my words of wisdom with others.
However, I can humbly share now that some of the time I really didn’t feel confident with myself. I had a veil of insecurity that draped over me in life. “Why did I have these insecure feelings for so many years?” This was a question I had asked myself many times and had come up with a multitude of answers – none that helped. Then that all changed.
I had a huge insight – a deep understanding, my own lightbulb moment.
I was reading Coming Home by Dicken Bettinger and Natasha Swerdloff and this one sentence hit me:
“…when you wake up from a “daymare ” of insecure thoughts, stressful thoughts, or upset thoughts, you can experience relief that they are just made-up thought constructs and not reality.”
I had read and heard this type of sentence many times from reading and from others. I was giving similar guidance to others. I knew this – but didn’t have an inner knowing. I wasn’t listening deeply.
This moment reading those words of wisdom, I really listened. It was a deep listening and I got it. I was astounded. I remember sitting in bed, with the book on my lap looking gobsmacked!
What an earth do I need to be insecure about? Nothing! I’ve made it all up!
That moment changed everything. I realised that I had been listening to my own made up thought construct. When I saw the illusion of this and listened deeply, life just seemed so much brighter. And now I enjoy times with people and life in general so much more. The veil of insecurity has finally disappeared.
I find it so amusing that this was what I personally needed to hear – the difference that made the difference – and this was (and still is) the advice I share with others. I needed to hold that mirror up. Wow – I am so glad that at last I listened to my inner words of wisdom. It really has been a game changer.
So, what are the type of things that you say to other people? What are your words of wisdom that you very often graciously and freely give to others? Now imagine reflecting your words back at you. Do you need to hear these words for yourself? Has your inner guidance been giving you the answer yet you have been bypassing yourself and sharing these with others? Imagine hearing these for the first time, being open to receive the learning of your own words of wisdom.
And one of the wonderful people who came on my recent Confidence Workshop sums this up perfectly:
“The Confidence Workshop was beautifully transformative. The interactions between participants revealed wonderful truths and insights. Lindsey’s sensitive guidance at these times helped each of us to be the messenger for others, thereby teaching us that we can be equally resourceful for ourselves. The message we would most frequently offer to other people, to increase their confidence, is the one we need to hear ourselves. Such a wonderfully caring, kind and supportive group of people who helped to make it such a lovely day.
If you often struggle with personal/work situations and believe that you are unable to deal with it all, then Lindsey can show you how mistaken you are! You have all the strength, confidence and wisdom inside you to know what you need to do. I went to Lindsey’s Confidence Workshop and realised this. Immediately after the workshop, I encountered some significant personal upheavals, which previously would have caused me immense suffering. I was amazed to find an incredible strength within me to work through these and to move on without any lingering, overwhelming thoughts.”
How wonderful. And I would love to hear about your words of wisdom, so do pop an email over to me.
If you are interested in understanding more about how we experience life, perhaps you would like to read my new book Got It: The Answer to a Confident, Productive & Stress-Free Life Now available from Amazon in paperback and in ebook.
Lindsey Reed is an experienced International Confidence Coach, Trainer and Author. She enables people to have a joyful, fulfilled life and be their best selves…re-igniting their lives with confidence. If you would like to work with Lindsey, contact her either by email email@example.com or call 01832 280168 for a chat to see if she is the right coach for you. (121 coaching is either face to face / telephone / skype.