Stuck Record? Want to get rid of it?

Do you have a stuck record; one of those tunes that keep repeating the same thing over and over? The needle keeps slipping.

When you meet new people, do you find yourself repeating your old story to them. You see friends and out it comes; that old story. Do you recognise this in yourself? Do you have a story that is like a stuck record? Are these limited you and holding you back? Is it getting a bit worn out; in fact are you getting a bit bored with it now?

I used to have a stuck record…at any opportunity I would put on my victim record. “When I was a child my Mum… blah…blah…blah…blah…blah.” Poor me. I would analyse my story, make it seem so real in my head. It defined me and gave me an Identity…or so I thought.

But let’s look at this. What are our stuck records?

They are our experiences from our past. And what are these? Memories. And what are memories? Thoughts.  We relive our past experiences through our thinking. If these are happy memories, enjoy them – realise that these are still thoughts. However those unhelpful thoughts which cause you pain – it really is illogical to keep going over and over these again. What is the sense?

Now, I know that in some genres of psychotherapy and counselling, the client goes over their stories that they are attached to so that they can gain a better understanding of the issues that are troubling them. I question the benefit of this for 3 reasons:

• We become troubled not because of the old issues but because we keep thinking about them and create more suffering for ourselves. Our stuck record.
• We cannot really have full understanding of past events– especially if it involves another person? We cannot mind-read what was going on in someone else’s mind X years ago
• What really is the point of analysing these? The past has happened, it’s gone. Analysis gives more power to unhelpful thinking.

Going back into the past is like going back into the shower to dry off. SYDNEY BANKS

This isn’t about putting our head in the sand. Far from it. Through understanding how our experience of life gets created moment to moment enables people to move on.

Our memories are made up of thoughts that we are taking notice of in the moment. We have thousands of thoughts going through our head each day…and night. These can be good / bad / positive / negative / happy / sad / mundane / exciting …and the list goes on. We are thinkers just as we are breathers. That’s the nature of being human. So what is the point of going over and over old stories, like a stuck record? If there is a record that you really don’t enjoy on the radio, would you go out and buy it and keep playing it? (For example I definitely wouldn’t buy “Play that Song” by the band Train – Argh!).

Often the memories of moments in our past we make into a huge deal by reliving these through our own thinking.  We become victims of our own stories. My old stuck record was played over and over for probably 40 years. Now that’s a long time. That record has definitely had its day. At last it’s now gone from the top of the charts to out of the charts. Liberating.

Through understanding the nature of thought, we realise that we have freewill to take notice of the thoughts that we want to. If we let them be, fresh thinking naturally happens.

Metaphorically ditch your old stuck record. It’s broken; it’s scratched and not very nice. Instead of re- experiencing the pain, how about forgiving, forgetting, let those old out dated thoughts go and allow yourself some love, kindness and compassion…and new joyful record.

*The photo is of our local village shop. When a large supermarket was built in our local town, this caused a lot of distress for many local shop owners. Some closed, others are like a stuck record, moaning about this. However Rob, the owner of our village shop, has diversified and is now selling a great selection of records as well as the usual bread, cheese and baked beans etc.

Lindsey Reed is an experienced International Coach, Trainer and now Author of “Got It!”. She enables people to have a joyful, fulfilled life and be their best selves. If you would like to work with Lindsey, contact her either by email lindsey@glows-coaching.co.uk or call 01832 280168 for a chat to see if she is the right coach for you. (121 coaching is either face to face / telephone / skype