Open to Behaving Confidently?

Open to Behaving Confidently?

Having studied and worked with hundreds of clients – There are five main elements that you can explore to ensure you build your confidence level and, as a result, giving you the best possible chance to take you to the next level of success. So, in previous blogs we have already looked at how your beliefs, thoughts, emotions and body can impact your confidence, and I have shared with you some useful tips to improve your confidence.

So, what now? We’ve got the theory; now it’s time to put it into practice! It’s like baking a cake; we’ve got the ingredients, have done the baking, covered it with delicious icing … now we’re ready for the cherry on the top!

The accumulation of all of these factors, ultimately, will result in changes in your behaviour.

When working with clients that want to feel more confident, I often ask them to explore the behaviour of a confident person – it may seem easy – however it is important to fully understand what you really want and what confidence really means.

Yesterday, I was coaching a client and I asked her “What do you notice about a confident person – how do they sound? What do you notice about their posture? How do they communicate with others?” We had already explored shy and arrogant behaviours.  She thought about these questions for some time – and then came out with 1 word “Balance”. What a fantastic word!

Another word that reminds me of someone with true inner confidence is “Open”.

Being Open

Being open doesn’t mean that you need to tell people everything about yourself. If you are a private person, that is fine. What it means is that you come across as being approachable, relaxed, sometimes assertive if required and open to speaking with a variety of people.
So, what is the behaviour of an “open” person?

Open Body LanguageAn open body language shows acceptance and
that you don’t feel threatened. For example:

  • Arms and legs are not crossed
  • Arms may be relaxed and animated when talking
  • Open hands, usually with palm up, can represent that you have nothing to hide
  • Legs parallel with feet facing the person you are talking to
  • Eyes relaxed and with good eye contact

Starting Open ConversationsStart conversations with open questions. An easy way to remember open questions are the five W’s:

  • What…?
  • Where…?
  • When…?
  • Who…?
  • Which…?

(I recommend to avoid the “Why…?” question – can seem that you are being interrogated!)

Listen! – Once you’ve asked open question(s), it’s crucial you listen intently to their answers in order to strike-up a meaningful conversation. This means Active Listening: of which there are four key elements:

  • Attentive Body Language: Lean forward slightly and nod occasionally
    to show your attentiveness. Maintain eye contact so you both feel comfortable.
  • Focus on the Speaker: Give them their full attention and try to notice their body language
  • Stay Open Minded: Ensure your own assumptions and judgements don’t
    get in the way of the conversation as this can distort what you hear.
  • Engage: Clarify what you have heard using some of their words so that they know you have been attentive and actively listened. It takes practice, and is worth it.

As your confidence increases, you will find yourself less overawed in social, working and networking situations and your behaviour will reflect this.

Remember, people are people. It doesn’t matter about their background or position in life, we are all the same. We are all people :)

Looking to boost your confidence? You may like to come along to my Confidence Workshop. These are held in a safe and supportive environment with a small group of people that like you, want to improve their confidence too. Click here to find out more.

Lindsey Reed is an experienced coach who specialises in enabling people to have more
confidence in their lives. If you experience times of low self-esteem, self doubt and lacking in confidence, Email or call
01832 280168 to see how your personal and working life will be improved.

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