Dear Lindsey
Please can you help me? I have a busy job on reception. I love to welcome people and get pleasure from helping people as they step into the building.
The thing is that I am feeling very stressed. I always want to please people and sometimes feel hurt when they don’t seem to appreciate me. They never take any notice of my opinions and some people seem to just step over me.
I always say yes to whatever is asked of me. I mean, if I say no – well – the very thought! The staff might think I am rude; get angry with me and stamp their feet. Or they might get upset and I really don’t like all those tears.
I am feeling more and more trampled over and I really don’t know what to do.
I look forward to your support and advice.
Best wishes
Dora Matt – receptionist
Dear Dora
Many thank very much for your communication. It is wonderful that you love to help people and it’s a great trait to have. I am just wondering from what you have written whether you have got into the habit of saying “yes” all the time?
I have worked with a number of clients that have found it difficult to say “No” as, like you, they thought others would perceive them as rude and get angry. When I asked how they knew this would happen – the response was that they didn’t. So what else do you think the staff might think if you said “No”?
Saying “Yes” excessively does have its downside:
I am sure that you don’t want these to happen so it’s great that you have asked for some support and advice. Here are some steps for you to learn to deal with the situation.
So here are a few practical suggestions of what to say in a respectful and friendly manner:
A person asks you to do something.
I do hope this helps Dora and I look forward to hearing from you soon
With warm regards
Lindsey
Lindsey Reed is an experienced coach who specialises in enabling people to have more confidence in their lives. If you experience times of low self-esteem, self-doubt, lack in confidence and saying YES all the time, email Lindsey@glows-coaching.co.uk or call 01832 280168 to see how your personal and working life will be improved or book onto the next Confidence Workshop so that you discover the Confidence within yourself.